


Proud of You - Oneshot

by LittleMissLemonDrop95



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Coming Out, Cute, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Fluff, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, One Shot, POV Dan Howell, References to Depression, Romance, Self-Acceptance, Self-Doubt, Swearing, Video: Basically I'm Gay, YouTuber Dan Howell, YouTuber Phil Lester, mild anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-28 23:26:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21400375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissLemonDrop95/pseuds/LittleMissLemonDrop95
Summary: Just after filming his video " Basically I'm Gay", Dan starts to have moments of self doubt and worries that he shouldn't post it, only to be comforted by Phil.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Kudos: 14





	Proud of You - Oneshot

"And...that's it. How did I do?" asked Dan nervously, his stomach in knots as he ran a hand through his dark curls, glancing over at Phil.

Dan was sat on a stool in a dark room, lit only by the regular lighting he'd used before for videos and whatever he could scrounge off of Phil. Across from him sat his best friend, who he had just referred to as his soulmate. His stomach felt like a washing machine at that point in time, and every inch of his being was screaming at him. It was something that his depression did to him a lot. Made him question his choices. It's why he often went ages without uploading content. He'd begin a project, work incredibly hard on it, only for his brain to tell him to stop bothering.

Right now it was asking him a lot of things. 

Why did he make that video?  
What made him feel that he had to do it?  
Why that moment in time?  
Who cares if he comes out or not?  
Why were people even still there to hear him talk?  
Were they even still there?

His mind usually raced frantically to come up with an answer to these sorts of questions. But not that moment. For once...Dan felt calm. Clarity. Power over his mind. This sense of overwhelming relief. Though it'd actually originally started when he emailed his family to tell them all about his secret. What he'd initially thought might go over terribly or just be yet another entry into the "Reasons why Dan's a fail" ended up going so much better than he'd ever considered. Upon reading each reply, he couldn't help but feel a weight lifted from his shoulders.

Dan slept that night better than he had in years. That following morning he felt like crying like a child, because it finally dawned on him how easy it had been all along. But what stopped him was remembering that every time he'd been nervous or unsure about himself, even when typing up the email, there was Phil. Phil would always be there to comfort him. To let him know he was okay. He really was Dan's bloody soulmate, after all. 

Though eventually he snapped back to reality, oh there goes gravity--  
Actually it was just Phil talking that got him out of that stupor.

"Dan...you ok? You've been staring into space for a while." Phil muttered, having put the camera away by now, and turning on the normal office lights.  
"Yeah...I think so. It's just...this feels...weird." Dan commented, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed before going on a mini ramble. "I've never really been this open about something so personal. Not since my depression video. But this...it's such a big part of me. Of us. It feels so cathartic to talk to them all about this, and yet I'm fucking terrified of what people might say. I mean, you've read the fanfiction. Who knows what might happen?"

Phil eventually sat down beside his friend and put an arm around his shoulders, looking at his friend earnestly before replying with his trademark optimism.  
"Isn't that what's fun about this job? Not knowing? And if there are some dicks in the comments, who cares? It's the internet, Dan. What matters is how you feel. Plus, I'm sure this video is going to help a lot of people. You need to give yourself some credit, Dan."

He paused for a moment before kissing his cheek and looking right in his eyes, continuing. "This is going to go great, trust me. And if nothing else...I'm proud of you."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, it's me Lemon! Back at it again with the Phan! I'm sure this isn't the only fic to take place after this video was filmed, but hopefully this is still okay!


End file.
